something in the deli aisle makes you cry

so the idea was, come home to chicago for autumn, work a bit, live at home, save up some money, and Go West, Young Woman after the holidays. it was the Smart Responsible Financial Decision. i wasn't going to be able to save money living in london, that's for sure.

i've done some very half-hearted applying to jobs around town, but i don't really feel like doing it. the prospect of working an 8-hour shift anywhere immediately makes me feel tired. i feel lethargic. chicago is chilly, autumn is here, the cold zipping in with the persistent wind. i just want to go to bikram every day and come back to my mom's sweet logan square apartment and hibernate all womb-like with books & internet & television. i receive press emails every day for goings-on around london that i used to use for my pieces on Londonist but i can't even bring myself to even open them now, i get all teary just thinking about what i'm missing.

not that it's not nice to be home. i drank my first pumpkin spiced soy latte of the season today while i waited for my mom to get out of her meeting, and i ran into my best friend from age 6-16. i printed out my cv at kinko's next to a boy that i then drove past 15 minutes later, who i then ran into a half hour later as i was walking out of Myopic Books, while he was chaining his bike to a post. clearly it was meant to be, but hell if i was going to make eye contact. i need to stop being such a wuss.